In a normal situation, you do not find these people acting against the teachings of the people. But then I realised that things should not continue once they reach the threshold point beyond which things can't sustain. I had also read cases where children are equally abused physically by their fathers under the influence of alcohol. This is ever more intolerable as children neither have the courage or the strength to tolerate such abuse. Now, the prime question that needs to be addressed at this point will be that of whether one continues or terminates a marriage on account of physical abuse in a relationship. Let us analyse.
Addressing Physical Abuse in a Relationship While dealing or addressing physical abuse in a relationship, you need to answer your own question of what you need from the relationship and that of life. If your partner is rough in his ways and torments you day in and day out, you will have to understand that such behavioural patterns are deep rooted. The future of this relationship much depends on how you would want to respond to this behaviour. At this juncture, you just have two choices. By the first choice, you need to stay along with your spouse, analyse what is causing this irate behaviour in him and then try to find a remedy to the problem. On the other hand, if you feel that you will not be able take any more of this nonsense and that it could affect your confidence and self esteem, you might as well walk out of the relationship, the only other choice.
What does the Law State? Spousal abuse of any form should never be tolerated, especially physical abuse. When physical abuse either leads to embarrassment in public or injuries being inflicted on the individual, he or she can approach the court of law to initiate a divorce proceeding. In order to substantiate your appeal for a divorce, you need to document the happenings which will further strengthen the case in your favour. On the other hand, if you have children or others in the household who have been physically abused, harmed or even threatened, you can ask the abuser to stay away from your residence even while the divorce proceedings are on. The law does not allow for the endangerment of life and recommends a split for the safety of the individuals involved in the relationship. How to Approach Physical Abuse In the event that you feel that you can correct the behavioural pattern of your spouse towards physical abuse, you can do so by all means.
You need to clearly set your boundaries with your abusive spouse and make your priorities and intentions very clear. Correcting the behavioural pattern needs a lot of courage, effort and time to be spent from your end. There are people who have succeeded in doing so and have lived happily. There have people who have dropped out in between having realised that all their efforts have gone in vain.
The call is yours. On the other hand, if you want to go ahead with a divorce, it is a welcome move as well, especially when children are involved in the relationship. At this point, your safety along with that of your children will receive the highest priority. Children are most prone to damages. Apart from coping with external injuries they might also be subjected to psychological problems and illnesses related to stress.
Further, they might as well suffer from lack of confidence and guilt of having been a witness to all the abuse. If you are not able to handle your abusive spouse yourself, it is recommended that you get in touch with the local police who would take a rigid stand on any form of domestic violence. On the other hand, you can also seek help from women self help groups, who can direct you on how to handle this situation more effectively.
As a last word, I recommend this to one and all. If you can't tolerate, don't put up with it. Get out of it immediately. It is time to reinstate your rights as an individual.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk